I waited a very long time to meet the right person to get married. When my husband proposed to me last summer, he was eager to get married. We thought that last fall would have been too soon. If only we had known that nothing was going to be normal this year. He wanted to get married in the spring, but I wanted to wait for autumn. I also thought we’d probably be living in Arkansas by then. When COVID-19 shut everything down in March, I thought surely the country would work together to get things under control by October. We continued to plan for the wedding as best we could, but our plans constantly changed and I spent most of my time trying to figure out if it would be safe. After all, more than 150 covid cases and 3 deaths have been connected to a wedding reception back in August that took place in Maine.
I considered filing for a marriage license and planning a reception or party next year. One of my other friends had announced their engagement a month or so before COVID-19 shut everything down. Like probably his other friends and family, I was very concerned that he would be by himself and separated from his special person. I watched them get married at home on Facebook Live. My friend’s daughter was married this summer and only the parents were there. I know how hard it was that not even the brothers and sisters could be there. I heard about how their aunt still came to the gate to cheer them on. I saw the pictures on Facebook.
I considered rescheduling as some of my friends had done. A good friend of mine had planned to get married this past July, and they rescheduled for next year. They are still hoping to have a celebration, but they eloped this past weekend. Not sure when there will be a widely distributed vaccine, the place where they planned to get married has refunded everyone who scheduled weddings there. One of their groomsman died this past year. So many people have gotten sick; I worried that someone would die first. I decided not to wait any longer. COVID-19 has taken so much from us this year — our celebrations, our togetherness, and even some of our friends and family. It has been such a hard year. I wanted to try and have the nicest thing that we could have.
The first summer I spent living in Northwest Arkansas, I discovered this beautiful glass chapel in the woods. I thought that if I did marry I would get married there. I so much wanted to share the beauty of the Ozarks with my family and friends, and I wanted the friends I had in Arkansas to be able to come. They had given me their stories and helped me as I learned to write in Marshallese. I also had watched in horror in June and July as my friends went to funerals every day. I felt like after suffering through all that if we could do something nice we should. We held off until September to make final decisions. I had followed the covid-rates endlessly and it looked like October was our window of opportunity.
I was hesitant to announce the wedding a success, but it has been two weeks. I am happy to report that no one developed any covid-symptoms. It was not without risk or very careful consideration of precautions. We only had 40 people in the chapel, and we had ushers seat everyone 6 feet apart. We asked everyone to wear masks inside and outside. I even wore a blue disposable mask. I constantly had to remind people that they could wear their masks in pictures. I also had to accept that some important family members could not come because it was too scary or too risky for them to travel. Every person who came, though, it felt like they had beat the odds to be there. Wearing a mask was the least I could do. I am filled with gratitude for the life that we have and the time that we have together. We cannot take anything for granted. We don’t know who all will be here next year.
With cold weather coming, we cannot be taking the same risks that we could take in the summer. While I am grateful for a beautiful wedding, I am preparing for a long winter without the company of my friends and family. We still have to be careful.